


How crying feels like to me

by ClexHed



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Crying, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Please Kill Me, Sad, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:41:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26684602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClexHed/pseuds/ClexHed
Summary: How does it feel? Being sad? Crying? I certaintly know what it feels like for me, so i let everyone know
Kudos: 1





	How crying feels like to me

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what this is but i was very angry/sad today and wrote what came to my mind. Have fun reading ^^

Crying so hard your bones start to shiver. The roof of your mouth twitches with every breath you try to suppress, your lungs cry for air but you won't let them take a whiff of oxygen because you're so scared to let out a whimper let alone a quiet sob. 

Even your muscles arch from the tremors, having your eyes open seems impossible, so you shut them close. And let the tears escape through sealed eyelashes. Your face is now wet. Your cheeks are scarred with wet narrow lanes, going down your neck and disappearing under your shirt. Most defininetly wetting it aswell.

You ask yourself how long it takes for your tears to stop. For the pain to stop.

You strain yourself, nearly intoxicated with how little air there is left in your lungs, but you still stand up and search for a tissue to clean your face. And hopefully wipe out that weakness. You think crying is. And no one is allowed to see. 

Now feeling completly emotionaly drained, you're laying on your back and think about the times you could've changed. Could've avoid your sadness. Suddenly, you get angry, furiosly giving everyone else the blame for how you feel. It goes on for a few minutes, maybe hours, after that you shake the thoughts away.

You learned nothing. It's always the same.

Your face feels hot, it's probably red and a bit swollen around the eyes, but it kind of feels soothing. The pain, the burn from it makes you feel weirdly at peace. It makes you question if the aftermath is worth to cry yourself to agony. What you really want to know is, why it feels like ecstasy. Why do you want more. A soothing peacful energy, you want to die and it makes you feel calm. Why does it make my brain tingle, you ask yourself. Goosebumps spread along your skin and you, again, shake your thoughts away.

It's kinda quiet now. You hear voices but you don't pay much attantion to it. Your muscles still twitch as if they were on high alert, you try to calm yourself because it's slowly getting annoying. 

When you blink your eyes start to burn, your lashes seem so heavy now. All you want is peace. But there is no peace without a war brewing before that. So you prepare yourself to built those walls a bit higher, a bit rougher, a bit thicker. Your skin prickles and your breath seems boiling hot. You don't feel comfortable anymore, limbs are arching, breathing in and out feels like an impossible task. But you dont care.

The cornes of your vision starts to blur and eventually all you see is darkness. Your eyes are relieved, it won't burn anymore, but sleep will take over and you know your dreams will replay this night. Over and over again till you exhaustingly awake and beg to all the gods there is to die already. You don't want to live. You just want peace.

After going through your mind, thinking about the future and how to deal with it, you start to stop caring and let it be. Because life is just too complex to think about things that won't wait for you. Life is too complex to give a shit. So you shut down and surrender to the sleep, which already gnawed at your senses.

You know this sleep is going to be a deep slumber, and it will feel 'refreshing' after waking up the next morning. But you want it to rather feel like a knife to your skull. 

Because you like the pain...

It makes you want to live just a little while longer.


End file.
